Tantric Sex - The Left Hand Path
The science of Tantra has two main branches, which are known as Vama Marga and Dakshina Marga. Tantric Sex or Vama Marga is the Left-Hand Path that combines sexual life with Yoga practices.
Dakshina Marga is the Right-Hand Path of yoga practices without sexual enactment.
Tantric Lovemaking can be compared to The Art of Loving (a 1956 book by psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm). It states that love is a mindful venture and lovemaking is an art that has to be studied. If lovemaking is left to one's instincts, then it is reduced to physical intercourse and the pleasure derived from it will be superficial.
Tantric Sexual Rituals
Not surprisingly, tantric lovemaking involves many rituals within the domain of eroticism: from role-play and the use of sex toys to prolonged orgasms and mindful sex, everything is open for experimentation. Here are some points:
Indulge in ritualistic courtship to ensure that you create an environment of sexual energy. Don't confuse sexual energy for something that is exerted or experienced only during intercourse. It is an environment wherein your senses are heightened. Example: Think of having a great meal at home and eating the same tasty dishes at a nice restaurant, and you will comprehend the importance of the ambiance or environment.
Involve different parts of the physical body. In this context, a massage is ideal. For now forget about what is a tantric massage and what is not. Establish the roles of the giver and receiver and decide beforehand that there will be no sexual intercourse.
Tantric Meditation for Couples acts as foreplay and after-play while building intimacy. The Yab Yum position is ideal for this but any relaxed position in which you can cuddle and kiss comfortably is fine. Needless to say, this involves a huge investment of time. Don't expect to achieve all this in quickies - such rituals will last for hours if not days.
How is tantric sex unique?
The trinity of Love, Orgasm, and Worship makes it unique. Do you fully comprehend romantic love? Have you ever been in love? Have you ever enjoyed an orgasm during sex or masturbation? And, finally, what is your idea of worship?
"High levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia - which means you actually can be so "in love" that you can't eat and can't sleep."
Within Kundalini, your anahata chakra or heart chakra creates sensations of immense and infinite love. And this chakra can be awakened using specific exercises.
Not all orgasms are equal! And not everyone can have great orgasms all the time and with each and every one of their lovers. This is obvious! However, tantric sexuality (the Vama Marga) states that orgasms are the greatest gifts of life. Learning how to have them, finding an adept partner who can give you great orgasms, and acquiring the knowledge to tap into their divine energy is a pathway for existential awakening.
Worship and Divine Sexuality
Can you turn your tantric lover into a god or goddess? Worship him/her as a deity? Truth is that if you're in love, you most likely already adore and worship our lover. Tantric principles don't separate God from our consciousness - God is not a separate entity! When you realize that God is merely a level of consciousness that anyone can achieve you will give God the appropriate level of importance - nothing more and nothing less.
Psychologically, the divine union of two lovers happens when each invests in the other his/her individual idea of personal ego. Each becomes the soul-keeper - and therefore the soul-mate - of the other. This divine union is experienced in passionate lovemaking and in those seconds of a full body orgasm. Thus, worship becomes each and every act that is performed to please the lover. Tantric sex techniques are not confined to the bedroom nor merely to physical intercourse.
There have been many Indian mystics who worshiped deities so intensely that they considered themselves the wife of that deity. Interestingly, men considered themselves sons of a goddess, never husbands of a goddess! The divine feminine is always experienced in the form of Mother. Even when the tantric practitioner has a wife, the wife eventually acquires the title of mother.
How Tantric Sex Can Make Your Relationship Better
Many people mistakenly believe that the only way to have tantric sex is with a partner who has the exact same belief system. This is not true, because Tantra is all about technique and has nothing to do with religion. In tantric sex, if you choose to worship a goddess, then it is the same as worshiping a dominatrix! Don't get caught up in the religious or even spiritual definitions! Remember, anything that is stifling is NOT Tantra!
For some people, some sexual positions or rituals may be fun, interesting, or even sacred but for others they may be taboo. The key is that they all aim to create intimacy between two people. Of course, in reality, the role of each individual is more vital than how to use or implement some tantric sex practice or ceremony. Many couples experience Tantra as a safe, comfortable, and desirable means of knowing that they are in fact being intimate with each other. It is simply the act of discovering, understanding and achieving self-awareness by opening up one's heart and mind to the lover.
Many couples get lost in the act of pleasing themselves- it is quite easy to become so focused on what is going on in your body that you forget the fun you can have with your lover's body. And there is absolutely no harm in discussing in minute details each and every aspect of role-playing or lovemaking. It's better to discuss this with your lover than to do so with a couples' counselor or psychiatrist.
Tantric sex is not only about making love; it is also about healing your partner. One of the main purposes of sex is to soothe and provide pleasure and intimacy. People who spent their teenage years with sexual self-indulgence will always find it difficult to provide intimacy. On the other hand, people with traumatic sexual experiences find it hard to accept intimacy. That is why tantric sex is so valuable. It is all about the discovery of who you are and how you want to express that through your partner.
Your lover has access not only to intimate parts of your body but also intimate thoughts in your mind.
These are the thoughts that make you, or shame you. These are thoughts that are evoked when certain parts of your body are touched. The more intimate the touch, the more intimate the thought evoked. With this type of self-awareness, tantric lovemaking will become much more fulfilling and enjoyable. It is a matter of discovering the truth of your deepest connection to the other person. In doing so, you discover your own self! Strange as it may sound, for many people, the notion of exploring themselves - sexually or mentally - is really intimidating. Tantric sex also involves learning to talk in bed; which is but it is one that will surely improve your relationship.
Tantra and the Love Orgasm
Sexuality has the power to influence both the body and mind. Sexual desire is a clear indication that you are in tune with your sexual energies and can use them to create the life you desire. The desire is a powerful tool in bringing the mind-body connection into alignment. As you come into alignment with the mind, you begin to use your energy to bring about the lifestyle you desire. So it makes sense that sexual desire brings forth the mind.
When one considers the duality of body and mind, it is to isolate and identify the effect one has on the other. In this context, sexuality connects to the physical and mental aspects of our body in the most innate way possible. Anything else is superficial. Additionally, it is the connection between the sexual and emotional aspects of the mind and spirit. The sexual energy flows through the physical body. It moves through the body as the body moves through its functions. What we are talking about here is not the physical aspect of sexuality, but the emotional aspect of sexuality that produces the feelings and desires that we have.
If you are conscious of the fact that you have emotions and desires, then you have the ability to consciously tap into the energy that is the life force within yourself. This energy is called Tantric Love.
We often look at sex and love as separate concepts, but this is only because we have been programmed by the reptilian portion of our brain that allows us to separate the mental aspects of ourselves from the physical aspects. Simply stated, our brain is designed to think of itself as separate from the rest of the physical body. The truth is that we are connected. When you are in tune with the relationship between the body, mind, and spirit, you begin to see that there is no separation, not even in the physical domain.
Relationship with the body, mind, and spirit, especially the love orgasm, is the basic foundation of tantric yoga practice. Once you are clear about the importance of each component, the rest is easy. All you need to do is let go and surrender to your greater creative energies.
Ultimate Female Orgasm
The natural female orgasm and the male orgasm are completely different from one another. There are many anatomical differences (obviously) and endocrine factors that control male and female orgasms. The following is taken from a scientific article. It shows how ignorant we are about our own bodily functions:
"In several studies... orgasm induces prolactin secretion in healthy males and females. This suggests that prolactin may form a feedback regulator of the refractory period following orgasm. To examine this position we investigated the prolactin response of a healthy multi-orgasmic male subject. Blood was drawn continuously during masturbation-induced orgasm. The prolactin response of the case-subject was compared with that of nine healthy adult men with a normal refractory period. The case-subject showed no prolactin response to three orgasms. Data from this multi-orgasmic subject support the hypothesized role of plasma prolactin in contributing to sexual-satiation mechanisms."
Sensual massage is a lot of fun. The tantric technique behind a massage is merely the complete abandonment of any intercourse or orgasm. Ensure these two acts don't occur, and you will immediately find yourself in the domain of tantric massage. The following are some tips:
1. Erotic Massage: This type of massage is light and teases the body. You can perform this massage with the tips of your fingers or with a feather. Resist the temptation to bring closure to the massage by having intercourse or bringing about ejaculation. After about an hour or so, the massage comes to an end leaving both partners highly energized.
2. Lingam Massage: The lingam stands for penis and the objective here is to massage the penis without causing ejaculation. The simplest trick to use is to switch to other parts of the body when the penis is erect and wait till it is flaccid again. This routine can go on for an hour or so. This form of massage also leaves both partners unsatisfied in the conventional way of sex, but highly energized.
3. Yoni Massage: Yonis stands for vagina and the objective here is to massage the vagina without bringing about any orgasm. Inserting fingers or a sex toy into the vagina is acceptable but no ejaculation or orgasm should be caused. Light kissing may be indulged to distract from the orgasm.
All these methods will ensure that the next time you have sex and take it to culmination in an orgasm, then you will achieve deep orgasmic states. As mentioned earlier, not all orgasm are intense but not all intense orgasms are the same. Intense orgasms are also qualitative different! Different flavors of dark chocolate?!
Tantric Meditation for Couples
This is practiced by fully understanding that meditation is not only about sitting still in a quiet place. Advanced forms of mediation are often referred to as "meditation in motion." A slow erotic dance with your partner is one great example of meditation in motion. Many forms of couples meditation can be performed in the Yab Yum posture. The meditation can be guided by one of the partners or they can decide beforehand what idea they will focus on during their mediation.
The sexual act is perhaps the highest form of meditation in motion, but bringing mindfulness into the sexual experience elevates the act to spiritual practice. Doing this is easy: ensure that each act or motion is slow and deliberate. Don't shy of talking and be sensitive to each others' bodily responses however subtle.